There is absolutely nothing exciting happening in my life

Just the way I like it!

I still have had no contact with Jonquil’s family, they have made no effort to contact me and I have made none to contact them.  In the last conversation I had with his mother she said she wanted to “fix things” and then I never heard from her again.  I did call her on her birthday and then mine rolled by with absolutely no contact.  Not that my birthday is important, but she always called before so the absence of any communication tells me all that I need to know.

I did, however, hear from Lilybelle’s boyfriend shortly before Christmas.  He sent me a message apologizing for his behaviour the year before and said that he wanted me to be a part of his son’s life.  I did respond, I thanked him for contacting me and acknowledged how difficult that step must have been but I have politely declined to have any part in his child’s life.  I told him that I was sure he was a lovely little guy and I would quickly fall in love with him but since I have been down this road with Lilybelle so many times I know that she would just get mad at me again and pull him out of my life.  I have no intention of setting myself up for that kind of heartache.

Does that sound cold?  I don’t mean it to, but I am trying to protect myself now (that is a new thing for me).  That kid has put me through so much turmoil and caused so much stress to my life and my marriage that I simply can’t willingly put myself in that position again.  Every time she has decided to walk back into our lives I have welcomed her with open arms, and every single time she has burned the bridge as she walked away again.  Eventually I have to stop rebuilding that bridge.

In other news . . . there are a lot of stray cats in my neighbourhood and I am quickly becoming a crazy cat lady.  We just took in three strays.  As cute as they are, I hope they find homes soon.  It was simply too cold to leave them outside.

In hilarious news . . . Narcissus’ avoidance of her consumer proposal (a Chapter 13 for those of you south of the border) has finally caught up with her, a year later.  Recent reports indicate that she has spent the entire $66,000 she had from the sale of the house in TEN MONTHS!!  There is nothing left to pay the proposal and the bankruptcy trustee has come a’knocking.  They have to hire a lawyer to reopen the proposal and then borrow the money from the Unfortunate Sucker’s parents in order to pay off the proposal (to the tune of $33K).  Unfortunate Sucker has a life insurance policy that his parents don’t want him to touch so they would rather lend them the entire amount, but then Narcissus wants to cash in that policy anyway to pay for weight loss surgery and not tell the Unfortunate Sucker’s parents.

And then she plans to leave her husband.

That is folks, that is all I’ve got.  Like I said, my life is boring and I like it that way.  I get up, I go to work, I come home.  I have a lot of cats and a husband that loves me.  My life is not stress free by any stretch of the imagination but at least it is less stressful than when those people were a part of my life.  Jonquil still sees them but none of them make any sort of effort to see him – if he goes out there they will see him, if he doesn’t then they don’t seem to care one way or the other.  It is heartbreaking to watch but it has nothing to do with me.


I have been in hiding

Nothing has changed on the family front. Jonquil’s family still isn’t talking to me and I still don’t care.

Narcissus is having a grand ole time. When she sold her house she should have been left with about $60,000 after the mortgage was paid, legal fees, agent commission, any penalties from the mortgage company. When I say $60,000 that is likely generous, there should be been several more thousands of dollars left too.

Of that $60,000, Narcissus and the Unfortunate Sucker were supposed to pay $33,000 to their bankruptcy trustee in a lump sum payment for their consumer proposal. They didn’t. They wanted to wait until Narcissus found a full-time job with a steady pay cheque. The house closed in the spring, I think it was mid March and Narcissus still doesn’t have a full-time job.

According to reports, Narcissus claims that they only have $23,000 left and are $10K sort for the proposal and she doesn’t know what to do.

HOLY CRAP ON A CRACKER! She spent $37,000 in 6 months?

They have gone on trips, wine tasting tours, paid for a trip to Cuba or something to attend a friend’s wedding. I have no idea what else she has spent that money on.

She and Lilybelle are fighting. Lilybelle stopped paying her cell phone bill (which is on Narcissus’ account) about 8 months ago and Narcissus finally had enough and had the phone disconnected. Gee, I wonder where Lilybelle learned that kind of behaviour? Paying bills is for suckers, apparently. Now Pete is inviting Jonquil and I up to their new place to see the baby. Are you kidding me? Do I look stupid? Jonquil gets an email the day after the phone gets shut off and Lilybelle has a huge fight with Narcissus.

Yeah, no thanks. I am good. I have encouraged Jonquil to go and see the baby but I want nothing to do with that shit show anymore.

On my end, we are overrun with cats. Stray cats everywhere, and they all know where I live. A momma gave birth to her five babies in my yard in mid-June. We brought them in, I had mom fixed. We still have mom and two babies looking for homes. Now a male has shown up, sweeter than pure sugar, he is inside waiting to be fixed. How do they know where I live? I need a second (third, fourth?) job to feed all these darn cats. I can certainly understand how people end up with 80 cats in their homes though.

Knee is still buggered. Torn meniscus and arthritis. Good times. Getting old really sucks.

How have you all been? Are you still here?


Users beget Users

We are mostly settled in. It has been an intersting and busy couple of months.

I tore something in my knee about two weeks before we moved, that made packing super easy and super fun. So easy to pack when yoy can’t walk. That Murphy and his laws, asshole.

But we are moved (thank god we had decided to hire moves). The new house is great. Except for the stray cat that had kittens in my yard last week. Now we have 6 more cats in the house. What am I going to do with them?

Their capture was a story, but she is a stray and not feral and has warmed up to us (probably because we bring her food).

In other news, I haven’t heard a word from the horribles since we moved. Moving day came with no help from either Lilybelle or Marigold in spite of the FIVE times that Jonquil has moved Marigold to and from school. No offer of help from Jonquil’s mother either, but she did call him for help the day before we moved. Not “can I make you dinner because all your pots and dishes are surely packed?” but instead “can you come and help me’.

And today, Marigold is graduating from college.

Remember the stories of tears and anger when Narcissus would bail on Marigold right before she was supposed to move her to or from school? Five times. FIVE FUCKING TIMES!?!?! Only the last time did the Unfortunate Sucker move the child, he apparently thought it was his turn.

And when Marigold needed to apply for student loans she needed Narcissus’ income tax information to complete the application and Narcissus REFUSED to file her income tax return so we had to lie and give Marigold her dad’s information.

But Narcissus is the one that got invoted to Marigold’s graudation ceremony. Narcissus and the Unfortunate Sucker.

I guess the apples don’t fall far from the trees. Narcissus, Narcissus Jr. and Narcissus Jr #2.

It may be time to completely cut the poison out of my life.


3 hours from home and still haunted

I wrote a big long post about something, can’t even remember what. I saved it as a draft and WordPress ate it. Damn you WordPress.

I went to visit my father on this Easter long weekend (we get Good Friday as a holiday here). I was supposed to go on Friday but I didn’t get home from work until 5 a.m. and it is a wee bit of a drive, so we postponed to Saturday.

Rosebud is a pill and she drives me crazy and EVERYTHING takes longer with her on the trip. I won’t bore you with the details, but I was ready to throw her out of the car. I am frustrated, irritated, and an hour late. I have been on the road for 3.5 hours. Rosebud has to pee so we stop and a Tim Hortons.

My dad lives WAY north of the city, just outside of a big ski tourist location. When we go to visit him it is a 3.5 to 4 hour drive in each direction. We do it in a day trip. It shouldn’t take that long, it should be under 3 hours . . . but these kids.

Anyway, so we pull into the Tim Hortons and hustle into the bathroom. Rosebud is in there first taking her sweet time. The second stall is occupied. There are three people (including me) waiting. We wait and wait and I give Rosebud a hard time. Rosebud leaves the bathroom and goes out to the car to get feminine hygiene products. My niece goes in. She comes out and another person goes in. She comes out and I go in. Finally, the person in the stall next to me makes a fast exit from the bathroom, barely pausing long enough to run water over her hands. Rosebud has come back in and is now in the stall next to me. I wash my hands and go to join my niece in line.

I start to walk toward the counter and stop.

WHY THE FUCK IS NARCISSUS HERE??? She was in the stall, the one that made the fast exit. WHY can’t I get away from her? What the fuck is an employed bankrupt doing going away for the weekend. Pay your damn bills woman.

For the love of god, why is she everywhere I go? 3.5 hours of driving and I end up in the same shitter as her. Come on.


Our Town got a little bit brighter

The narcissistic bitch moved at the beginning of the month. Then spent over a week in the hospital going through a gaggle of tests and they can’t find anything wrong.

Consensus is that she was probably faking.

I had a really hard time with her hospitalization. A part of me felt that as a human being I should have some compassion for her suffering but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I struggled with it quite a bit until I spoke to one friend and told her I couldn’t bring myself to feel any sympathy at all. She said “I’m not sorry, I’m just sorry she didn’t die!” and went on to remind me of everything this woman has put me through.

We all need friends like this. Thank you so much for making me feel like a human being again.

Jonquil and I have found a new home. I was careful to ensure that it was not in the same neighbourhood as Narcissus and the Unfortunate Sucker. They put their house up for sale and announced they were moving to Big City four days after we told people we were moving. Coincidence? Probably not. But no worries, it is a big Big City and even thought we are both in the same end of town they are still a 20 minute drive from us.

Them in an old, dilapidated circa 1960s/70s highrise in a sketchy neighbourhood (as lower rent, high density neighbourhoods usually are). Us in a lovely little farmhouse in the city, nestled into a quiet residential neighbourhood that is close to transit.


This makes me particularly happy after she told someone that I was always jealous of her because she owned a house and we rented. Completely untrue and ridiculously funny.

If I catch her in my ‘hood I will be filing a complaint with the police. i am not putting up with this crap anymore.

I haven’t found out what happened with her bankruptcy, I think it doesn’t get accepted until April. But the house closed and she has been busy spending money on clothes, dinners out and incredibly ugly 1980s style silk flowers that don’t actually look like flowers and probably came from the dollar store. She has terrible taste. She should blow through that wad of cash pretty darn quick.

Our new home is a lovely 4 bedroom, completely renovated house with a finished basement, stainless steel appliances and a GAS STOVE! The kitchen is beautiful! The yard is huge which is amazing for Big City and it is a 15 minute walk to the local, completely fenced off-leash dog park. It is like it was meant for us. Rosebud is moving with us and my oldest daughter, Magnolia, and her girlfriend are moving in with us too. I miss Magnolia. Rosebud is going away for a month and leaves three days before we move – she will be able to tell all her friends that she went away and her parents moved while she was gone . . . just like I have always threatened!

I am relieved to be moving. Did I tell you there have been two more parties that our entire family was excluded from – not just me? One of them was right next door and my daughter looked out the window and said “Why weren’t we invited”. Communication from Jonquil’s family has been slim until we had a talk with his mother last night that did not go well. I am fine with this, but I need space from them. A cushion. Who needs to watch this crap?

Did you know that movers are RIDICULOUSLY expensive? This is the problem when you reach middle age; not only are you middle-aged but so are all your friends and they all have bad backs, bad knees, or some other ailment and beer and pizza just isn’t a good enticement anymore when our old bodies take days and days to recover. So, movers it is. I may never move again.

Did I tell you about my stray cat? We brought him in out of the cold, his owners do not WANT him back, he was unneutered and full of tapeworm.

We had him dewormed, vaccinated, neutered – cost me a bundle. Now I am keeping him. He is the most darling thing with big, beautiful blue eyes. I am becoming a crazy cat lady.


For the benefit of Lilybelle

Yesterday I got to work and had two emails from my benefit provider. I have put nothing through recently. I logged into thier site to find two dental claims for Lilybelle. One for $471 worth of work she had done on Tuesday and another for a $400 estimate.

I clearly recall telling her, before the shit hit the fan, that she was covered only until her 20th birthday. 19 and under. She isn’t in school and is 20. That alone ends her benefits.

But, she called me a cunt, made my life hell, tried to destroy my marriage (again), tells lies about me, moved out of our house, moved in with her boyfriend, had a baby. What part of ANY of that would make her think she was still on our benefits?

She may still be on Jonquil’s, that remains to be seen. We had a blow out about it though. She is not a dependent and should not be on his benefits. She is in a common law relationship and she is on welfare (defrauding welfare to be exact). It isn’t like we can hide the fact that she is no longer living with us, her being on welfare makes it pretty easy to prove.

It isn’t worth the risk to keep her in our benefits. I am not prepare to commit fraud for that child.

She called her dad from the dentist when the claims didn’t go through.

She did not tell us that she was going to the dentist or attempt to confirm if she still had benefits before she had any work done. I felt bad that she was stuck paying $471 when she didn’t expect to, but on the other hand she shouldn’t have expected that she would be covered. Let her mother help her.

Am I nuts? Or just angry? Or does this kid have entitlement issues?


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