the end is nigh

Marigold has been in college for 2.5 years. This coming winter term will be her final term. Final term is a placement and she is doing it close to home so she is moving home from school tomorrow.

2.5 years is 3 trips out and two trips back with Marigold’s stuff. Jonquil has driven her every single time. Marigold has asked the Unfortunate Sucker in the past but Narcissus always has some sort of flip out and then won’t let it happen, so Jonquil has to go and get her.

The Unfortunate Sucker is picking her up tomorrow and bring her home with all of her stuff.

How is this even possible?

The world is coming to an end. Only explanation I’ve got.


It must be me

When I was dating my first husband his parents hated me. I wasn’t italian, I wasn’t catholic, I got pregnant out of wedlock to trap their super-duper catch of a son. I just wasn’t good enough. I was excluded from everything. Christmas, Easter, birthdays, his sister’s wedding. I spent them all alone. It hurt like a bitch. I always told myself it had nothing to do with me.

This past weekend was my nephew’s birthday party. He turned 3. This is Jonquil’s brother’s son. We were not invited. Nope. Not even told about it. I found out on facebook by the other aunt and uncle that were invited. How precious.

I am not even sure what to do. I am so hurt.

Maybe it is me. Maybe Lilybelle is right and I am a cunt, that would explain why I feel like everyone hates me.

Here is a kitty. He is soft and he purrs. I wish he was here with me right now.



Protected: Over the hills and far away

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He has arrived

Jonquil was called at about 11 a.m.

Narcissus wasn’t called until after 4 p.m.

Jonquil was at the hospital for four hours before Narcissus arrived. He was there before Narcissus was even told. Yes, this makes me chuckle!

Narcissus arrived at the hospital about a half hour after Lilybelle started pushing, she walked into the waiting room saw Jonquil and turned around and walked back out. Jonquil says she tried to get then to let her into the delivery room and when that didn’t work she milled in the hall for a while before she came into the waiting area. She told Jonquil that Lilybelle was fully dilated and that it shouldn’t be long now. He said “I know, I have been here for four hours already.” Jonquil says that the look of understanding as it all clicked into Narcissus’ brain was wonderful. As she calculated that she had only been told THREE hours before. Gut punch #1.

We got some snow and Narcissus was talking to Pete’s mom about how slippery the drive was (it is over an hour away, northeast). Pete’s mom tells Narcissus to be careful on the drive home, and then two minutes later turns to Jonquil and offers him a place to stay for the night. Narcissus apparently looked less than pleased. Gut punch #2.

Pete’s mom was in the delivery room. Narcissus was not. Gut punch #3.

Narcissus burst into the delivery room as soon as she was allowed and held the baby, but once Jonquil went into the room the baby was given to him and he held it and passed it to other people and it was passed back to him while Narcissus apparently stood there with a look that said “when is it my turn?”. Gut punch #4.

I bet that bitch cried all the way home, and she deserves that and many more tears.

The only thing that would have been better is if I had come walking out of the delivery room after the baby was born, instead of Pete’s mom. That would have been pure awesomeness.

Mom and babe are doing well. He was four days early and a healthy 7 lbs 15 oz. I will post pictures shortly.


Brace yourselves

It’s coming.

Lilybelle is in labour. Jonquil was called, Narcissus was not. Lilybelle doesn’t want Narcissus trying to bully her way into the delivery room so she and Pete aren’t telling her until after the child has made his way into this world. But Jonquil is at the hospital.

Makes me laugh at all those emails Narcissus loves to send.



We have told Marigold and Lilybelle time and time again that we want nothing to do with Narcissus. We don’t want her involved in our lives, we don’t want to talk to her, we don’t want to see her, we don’t want to go in on a baby shower with her or anything else.

Why don’t they get this?

Lilybelle clearly violated this boundary when she involved Narcissus in my life. I likely could have gotten over the rest of the bullshit and drama that she created but when she involved Narcissus, that was the end.

Now Marigold is emailing Jonquil about her college graduation pictures. Do you want to split the cost of the CD of pictures with mom.


First, we bought her highschool graduation pictures. I don’t really think we need college graduation pictures too. They all look exactly the same. Second, we are flat broke. I have to get this dog neutered by the end of the month and one of his testicles never came down so they have to go fishing. It could cost me up to $800. Good lord. We have car repairs that need to be done and bills that we are slightly behind on. All that happiness that Jonquil no longer had to pay child support quickly disappeared when Rosebud’s father just stopped paying child support. He is currently 5 months in arrears. Rosebud is still in school and it costs me ever penny of that child support and then some just to get the child to school every month. I am still forking out that money so we are absolutely no further ahead. We are still just scraping by every month. Scrape, scrape, scrape.

And finally, and most importantly, what part of we do not want to go in on, share, split or anything else with Narcissus isn’t clear? What part of that makes these kids think that it is ok to cross that boundary all the time. Marigold is fully aware of the craziness that is her mother, she doesn’t pretend like Lilybelle. So why pull us back in all the time?

I have not commented on this to Jonquil, he can do whatever the heck he wants.

Not my circus. Not my monkeys.


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