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He has arrived

Jonquil was called at about 11 a.m.

Narcissus wasn’t called until after 4 p.m.

Jonquil was at the hospital for four hours before Narcissus arrived. He was there before Narcissus was even told. Yes, this makes me chuckle!

Narcissus arrived at the hospital about a half hour after Lilybelle started pushing, she walked into the waiting room saw Jonquil and turned around and walked back out. Jonquil says she tried to get then to let her into the delivery room and when that didn’t work she milled in the hall for a while before she came into the waiting area. She told Jonquil that Lilybelle was fully dilated and that it shouldn’t be long now. He said “I know, I have been here for four hours already.” Jonquil says that the look of understanding as it all clicked into Narcissus’ brain was wonderful. As she calculated that she had only been told THREE hours before. Gut punch #1.

We got some snow and Narcissus was talking to Pete’s mom about how slippery the drive was (it is over an hour away, northeast). Pete’s mom tells Narcissus to be careful on the drive home, and then two minutes later turns to Jonquil and offers him a place to stay for the night. Narcissus apparently looked less than pleased. Gut punch #2.

Pete’s mom was in the delivery room. Narcissus was not. Gut punch #3.

Narcissus burst into the delivery room as soon as she was allowed and held the baby, but once Jonquil went into the room the baby was given to him and he held it and passed it to other people and it was passed back to him while Narcissus apparently stood there with a look that said “when is it my turn?”. Gut punch #4.

I bet that bitch cried all the way home, and she deserves that and many more tears.

The only thing that would have been better is if I had come walking out of the delivery room after the baby was born, instead of Pete’s mom. That would have been pure awesomeness.

Mom and babe are doing well. He was four days early and a healthy 7 lbs 15 oz. I will post pictures shortly.


Brace yourselves

It’s coming.

Lilybelle is in labour. Jonquil was called, Narcissus was not. Lilybelle doesn’t want Narcissus trying to bully her way into the delivery room so she and Pete aren’t telling her until after the child has made his way into this world. But Jonquil is at the hospital.

Makes me laugh at all those emails Narcissus loves to send.



We have told Marigold and Lilybelle time and time again that we want nothing to do with Narcissus. We don’t want her involved in our lives, we don’t want to talk to her, we don’t want to see her, we don’t want to go in on a baby shower with her or anything else.

Why don’t they get this?

Lilybelle clearly violated this boundary when she involved Narcissus in my life. I likely could have gotten over the rest of the bullshit and drama that she created but when she involved Narcissus, that was the end.

Now Marigold is emailing Jonquil about her college graduation pictures. Do you want to split the cost of the CD of pictures with mom.


First, we bought her highschool graduation pictures. I don’t really think we need college graduation pictures too. They all look exactly the same. Second, we are flat broke. I have to get this dog neutered by the end of the month and one of his testicles never came down so they have to go fishing. It could cost me up to $800. Good lord. We have car repairs that need to be done and bills that we are slightly behind on. All that happiness that Jonquil no longer had to pay child support quickly disappeared when Rosebud’s father just stopped paying child support. He is currently 5 months in arrears. Rosebud is still in school and it costs me ever penny of that child support and then some just to get the child to school every month. I am still forking out that money so we are absolutely no further ahead. We are still just scraping by every month. Scrape, scrape, scrape.

And finally, and most importantly, what part of we do not want to go in on, share, split or anything else with Narcissus isn’t clear? What part of that makes these kids think that it is ok to cross that boundary all the time. Marigold is fully aware of the craziness that is her mother, she doesn’t pretend like Lilybelle. So why pull us back in all the time?

I have not commented on this to Jonquil, he can do whatever the heck he wants.

Not my circus. Not my monkeys.


Gone, gone, gone

Thank heaven!

Wednesday night Jonquil and I went to talk to his mother who told me that telling Lilybelle to smarten up or leave was inappropriate. I filled her in on the parts that Lilybelle left out, like being mad that the internet was down and flaming me online, and Grandma apologized to me saying that she didn’t know the whole story and didn’t want to think she was being lied to.

Well that is nice, but that she would believe that I would kick the child out without provocation says more about what Grandma thinks of me than any words ever could.

In addition to this conversation, she gave me shit because we didn’t have Thanksgiving dinner together. ‘Scuse me? She waited until the Friday night before Thanksgiving Monday to call and leave me a message saying “I guess we aren’t having dinner together because Jonquil will be working all weekend . . . ” No request to call her back, no request that I should let her know IF Jonquil will be able to have dinner with her. I did tell Jonquil to get in touch with his mother and discuss their arrangements for Thanksgiving but he didn’t do it.

She sat alone you know. I sat alone every weekend for a FUCKING YEAR! I watched her invite my sister-in-law out for lunches and over, but never me. I watched her take Lilybelle and Marigold up to see their uncle but leave Rosebud at home, ALONE. I am not going to go on . . . I am just so done with all of this shit.

Lilybelle wanted me out of the family, she got her wish.

Friday evening was a flurry of chaos. Pete was not helping Lilybelle move because he “read the schedule wrong” and had to work. The fuck? I would have told him to find someone to cover his shift, call in sick, or go to hell! Three times that child has moved – out of her mother’s, then out of her roommates, and now out of my home – three times that boy has not been around to help. Sounds like match made in heaven right there. I can’t wait to see how supportive and wonderful he is with the baby. Gonna be a dad of the year, that one. Then Lilybelle got a text from the friend who was apparently supposed to take her cat, friend was in Chicago and couldn’t take the cat (I don’t buy that one for a second, but maybe Pete will), then the ex-roommate who was supposed to drive the truck wasn’t going to drive the truck. Then Lilybelle finds out that the truck reservation is not in our town but in a town 15 minutes away.

I quietly prayed to anyone who would listen that the move would still happen . . . because if it didn’t I was going to lose my mind.

Saturday morning came. Pete’s brothers and father came to move Lilybelle. They showed up, moved her stuff out, and she was gone without a word to me. No good-bye, no I am done. Not a word. The truck drove away and I changed that lock faster than Narcissus changes her personality.

Lilybelle left things behind. Jonquil wants to box them up and put them away for her for a little while. I want to throw that shit out. Lilybelle didn’t return the key so I have a feeling she will come back at some point to get her stuff when no one is home. She won’t be able to get in . . . SURPRISE!!!!

She left one of her two laptops behind.
Ask me if I care?

I am FREE. Maybe now I will have a chance to work on my marriage and ensure it survives.
or rest
or de-stress and get rid of these chronic hives
or walk around naked
or watch my own television.


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