Protected: Pete has it figured out

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:


And the house comes off the market again

I can’t believe I forgot to mention this yesterday.

What is this, the third time Narcissus has tried to sell that house? Listed at $320K, dropped to $310K then again to $305K. Worth . . . maybe $250/$260K Maybe.

The house was on the market for just over two months with only, apparently, very low ball offers.

From the stories, Narcissus and the Unfortunate Sucker have been “managing” so they have decided to take the house off the market and they will build a wall to separate the basement and rent it out. Narcissus had a quick fix idea that she would rent out the basement to Lilybelle for $400 a month.

Thankfully, Lilybelle has realized that living with us rent free is a much better idea.

I am not sure how Narcissus thought that Lilybelle would pay rent because Lilybelle has quit her job. I believe there were some welfare scam ideas floating in Narcissus’ brain. I am glad her ideas never came to fruition because it would have taken ever ounce of self-control that I have, and probably a very serious, unexplainable fear of telephones, to keep myself from calling and reporting the fraud. The only thing that would have kept from doing it would have been that it would take down Lilybelle too.

Lilybelle is smarter than I thought. Thank goodness.

In other child related news, Rosebud and Marigold (from next door) have been downloading or streaming an awful lot of something this month. We have reached our bandwidth capacity and there are still 6 days left in the month. I have turned off the modem to prevent overages. I wonder if those kids will actually find something productive to do?

HA! I am so funny.


The gathering storm

I am writing this on a mobile device and I have fat fingers, forgive my errors.

I can tell you the secret now.

I’m gonna be a grandma!

Lilybelle is having a baby.

Conception happened before Lilybelle moved out of Narcissus’ home but I fully expect that somehow it will be all Jonquil’s fault for being a bad father or my fault for helping Lilybelle move. I am not laying blame, these two kids are adults. BUT, Narcissus shouldn’t point fingers when she let the boy sleep over in Lilybelle’s room. It will come, mark my words, it will come.

Ok, end of that.

Lilybelle and her boyfriend Pete have been keeping this quiet for the time being. There are circumstances involved that I won’t go into because they won’t matter to you. All that matters is that they can’t tell Pete’s parents right now and won’t be able to tell Pete’s parents until August – when Lilybelle will be 6 months along.

Lilybelle only told her mom last night. Jonquil and I have known for two months! Lilybelle was encouraged to tell Narcissus earlier but it needed to remain a secret and Lilybelle felt that her mom and sister have big mouths and wouldn’t be able to keep quiet.

Jonquil was not happy, but he has been supportive and loving. We asked Lilybelle what she wants to do and told her we would be there for her no matter what she decided. Narcissus said “You don’t think about adoption?”

Lilybelle is 19, Pete is sticking by her and they have plans for the future and for their ongoing financial needs. Who knows how it will all work out, but at least they have plans.

I was a teenage mom at 17. I know firsthand how hard this is going to be but I also know that with the support, encouragement and love of your family, it is completely possible to be a teenage mom and have things turn out well. It will be a struggle but we will be there to urge her on.

And it’s a baby. A life is always a wonderful thing.

The most exciting thing about this for me is not that Lilybelle is having a baby (I am still worried about that), and not even that Lilybelle told us – the horrible parents. The most exciting part for me is that I have been a “stepmonster” for close to 7 years, I was the point of blame for Lilybelle not wanting to come to our house or see her father. I was a horrible person and a terrible parent. I fully expected never to have a relationship with Lilybelle.

Lilybelle has been inviting ME to her ultrasound appointments. I went to her frat and second ultrasounds and they called me into the room and I got to see the little baby. This is HUGE. HUGE. And I am so happy for this.

Meet my grandbaby! He/she was 12 weeks, 6 days. We are now in the 18th week.


Oh … And Lilybelle is moving in with us next week. It is temporary, just until she and the boy get settled.


Things that make you go hmm

Posted on Facebook yesterday:

A RIP picture trubute to Case Kasem with the accompanying message from Narcissus, “So tragic that the last several years were strained for him thanks to a hateful ex wife who took him away from his children”


Is she on drugs?


The blissful quiet

So wonderful. I am not entirely sure what to do with myself with all this drama free living. It is so beautifully boring!

There are two storms brewing on the horizon.

I expect that once the child support has ceased to flow, Narcissus will kick up a fuss about this remaining $5,000 she believes is owed to her. Her house hasn’t sold yet and I don’t expect it will.

The other storm, I can’t tell you about yet. I want to. Very badly. I am bound by a promise of confidentiality. However, I am going to start a post about the gathering of this storm and I will keep updating it until I am allowed to say something.

Things with Lilybelle are going well. She is spending some time with us, not huge amounts but she is doing so willingly. Not just us either. She is reintegrating herself with her entire paternal family.

I am thrilled.


The order has arrived

The judge changed nothing.  She just checked final and signed the draft order that we provided to the court.


Narcissus has still not been sucessful in her attempt to sell her house.  She is still heavily in debt and I am not sure if they managed to pay their mortgage last month.  But when they have an open house, they go out for lunch, go shopping and go to a local winery to buy some wine.

Because that makes sense when you are heavily in debt and can’t pay your mortgage right?

She is assuming that the house will sell so she doesn’t have to worry about these things.  It won’t sell for what she is asking.  It won’t.

There is a storm brewing here.  I can’t tell you what is happening yet. 


Miracles happen

Well that was a less than fun 24ish hours! Holy moly.

I had a bout of something nasty. Some stomach bug. No vomiting (and that is good because I really, really don’t like vomiting) just pain. Pain that kept me up all night and made it hard to focus on anything.

And as fast as it came, it went.

So, let me tell you about my last two weeks. I have been purposely avoiding posting much because I don’t think Narcissus knows about my blog, but you really never know and I didn’t want anyone to tip her off.

Two weeks and two days ago (on a Tuesday), Jonquil dropped off the papers to Narcissus and we heard nothing. No “eff you”, no “I am not signing these”, no “come and get them”. Complete and utter silence.

So, Jonquil had no choice but to file the papers. One week later, on Tuesday, Jonquil went to the courthouse to file the paperwork and he was turned away. We needed something called a confirmation of assignment. If the recipient has had the child support assigned (for example to welfare) then the government has a vested interest in the proceedings that relate to that child support and must also be served. In our case, the support was never assigned but we had to wait for the government form to prove it. That finally came on Monday.

So Tuesday, Jonquil goes back to court. It is now two weeks after he dropped those papers off to Narcissus’ house.

Jonquil was told that the forms we were trying to file were to change a final order, and since we only had a temporary order he could not file those papers. He was told that he needed to contact Narcissus with a list of dates and they needed to select three to five dates for a settlement conference and the earliest one was mid-August. And I was like:


So, Jonquil went to talk to Duty Counsel for some advice.

I could see our future and we would be paying her until August and never be able to get a penny of it back. I was despondent. As Jonquil waited to see counsel, I even suggested that we could offer her $3K in a lump sum if she would sign the consent. I don’t believe we owe her anything but I know Jonquil did not want to go back to court and it seemed like a small price to get our lives back.

We have been married 7 years this fall, and have never had a time when that woman wasn’t involved in our lives.

While Jonquil was waiting, we drafted an email over the phone and sent this to Narcissus:

The court clerk has given us potential dates for a case conference. Please select a date within 7 days or a conference can be booked without your consent.

The dates available to us are August 20, 21, 26 or 28, September 30, October 7 or October 10. You must select three dates.


He waited and waited and waited some more. And finally, on the verge of starvation and slipping into a coma it was his turn. 10 whole minutes he needed and he waited close to four hours. Oy.

So, Duty Counsel says that we need to file different forms, but that we can do this because we have had a case conference (there are no motions before a case conference). Duty Counsel said it was a pretty cut and dry case and he should get the order. She said that all this other money Narcissus is asking for has nothing to do with child support. Jonquil could ask for a temporary order to end child support and should get it, and Narcissus would have to wait for settlement conference or even trial to talk about all this other money she thinks is owed.

AND! Duty Counsel told Jonquil that once the form 14 motion had been filed with the court clerk, we could fax a copy of that motion request to FRO (the child support people) and they could hold Jonquil’s child support pending the outcome. In other words, we still pay it, but Narcissus does not receive it. FRO can do this because once the support leaves their hands there is no way to get it back.

And then I was like:

So now we had a plan and we would be able to shut down the support.

Over the last two weeks, Narcissus has prepared her house and put it up for sale. They are moving, apparently they are going to rent. This is funny for two reasons: 1. Narcissus thinks that renting is for the dregs of society and Unfortunate Sucker doesn’t want to live in an apartment or even a smaller house. 2. Narcissus thinks that renting is cheaper.

We rent, and we are broke.

Back to the story . . .right, we had a plan.

And then Narcissus emailed back:

Case conference for what?
There are no support payments after June so what for!
Jonquil, do you have ANY idea what I’m dealing with?
We’ve had to get the house ready for sale. We only had a week to get it ready. Our tenants moved out today. We don’t have our mortgage payment .. I’ve been out of work a month without pay searching for a job.
Thus why I haven’t returned papers to you. I hope to god they weren’t put into storage. I want this DONE!
I am abiding to the agreement of end of June. So what is your issue now?

Dear Narcissus, what makes you think he would care what you are dealing with. I mean, except for its comedic value. Our lives don’t revolve around your troubles and regardless of your troubles, the rest of the world is still spinning on its axis.

I know it is a crazy idea, but the sun does not rise and set up your ass Narcissus.

That would be have been a great email, but we sent her was:

Until I have signed paperwork to submit to the court, I must move forward with the case.

If you wish to file on consent, I will drop off new paperwork in your mailbox tonight and you can sign it and email me to pick up no later than 8 a.m. tomorrow.

Please advise if you require new papers.

We heard nothing back, so I drafted the papers and we sent her another email 4.5 hours later just before 8 p.m.

I am dropping off in your mailbox the following forms:

1. Two copies of the Consent. Please sign and have witnessed one copy and return it to me. The other copy is for your records until I return a copy of the fully signed consent to you.

2. A draft order terminating child support effective June 30, 2014.

If you sign the consent and return it to me by 8 a.m. tomorrow, April 9, 2014, I will file a Motion Form on consent in the court tomorrow. You will be provided with a copy of the filed Motion Form. Neither you nor I will be required to attend in court and a copy of the final order will be mailed to each of us.

If you do not return the signed consent to me by 8 a.m. tomorrow, I will proceed with asking the court for a Settlement Conference.

Email me once the consent has been signed and I will pick it up from your mailbox.

And we dropped off the papers.

At 8:45 Jonquil got an email asking:

What is to be done with the other paper? Is that just a copy for me also as I see no where for me to sign. Just a judge.

Dare we hope? Could it be?

Jonquil responded with “Just for your records, so you can see what we are asking the judge to sign.”

Ten minutes later Jonquil got a text message to check his email. She still doesn’t get that she is not supposed to text him under any circumstances. He doesn’t respond to them or in any way acknowledge that he has received them. As far as she knows, he doesn’t.

And her email said:

Signed in mailbox, come get it

For the record.. You really are an asshole. Harassing me with this on my birthday.. Threatening court action on the anniversary of my mothers death? You really are dispicable.

So you see why I call her Narcissus. What makes her think that her ex-husband remembers that it is her birthday? And if he does, what makes her think it matters? She isn’t 7, birthdays don’t stop the world or the bad stuff from happening.

Big words from the woman who called the police on our anniversary. The woman who took the kids to the cottage to celebrate father’s day with her husband instead of sending them to spend it with their father, like the agreement states. The woman who got married on my birthday, so we could be sure the girls would never be able to spend it with us. The woman who made every holiday a drama filled shitfest. And we are supposed to care it is her birthday. Oh hell no!

Omg and as I go back through these old posts, did I ever tell you about Narcissus and Lilybelle’s cats? There was all that stuff in the court papers about my cats, and the stench and Lilybelle is allergic. Then allergy tests showed nothing so Narcissus switched to ‘Lilybelle is allergic to the ammonia in the litter’ (which was in the room she shared with Rosebud because anywhere else the dogs would eat it). Then Narcissus got a cat, then they found another cat and this one was Lilybelle’s cat. And Lilybelle’s cat is not fixed and Narcissus didn’t want it in the rest of the house so the cat was confined to Lilybelle’s bedroom AND THE LITTER WAS IN HER ROOM.

Ok, back to the story. So we are supposed to care that it is Narcissus’ birthday when she has had the paperwork for two full weeks without a response? No, sorry. It was coincidence that it was her birthday, if Jonquil hadn’t been sent away and had to wait for that government form, Narcissus would have been served a week ago. I already had a process server lined up.

Total coincidence that fate had lined it up to happen on her birthday. Funny, but total coincidence. It would have been perfect awesomeness to have her served on her birthday but it didn’t turn out that way.

So I said to Jonquil that we had better go and pick up those papers right now before she changed her mind. I still fully expected to find something else in the envelope.

And I got out of the van, walked up to the mailbox, took the envelope and got in the car and it was the signed consent.


The papers have been filed with the court and we have been advised that it is up to the Justice DoublethatSupport whether or not to issue the order and whether it will be final or temporary. There are outstanding issues on the case – they were support, custody and access. The kids are grown and not living with either parent anymore so custody and access should be done away with. They are no longer relevant. The judge may have questions (specifically I would imagine she may want to know why Jonquil is paying for four months after the kids are gone, and she may want to know what has happened to the alienated children). Most of the time, the judge will just issue an order when it is on consent.

But there is a small part of me that hopes she says kids are gone, support ends now. I don’t know what we would do then. Part of me says we had an agreement and we should abide by the agreement because we aren’t Narcissus. But the other part of me says screw her.

But we should know what the judge says in about two or three weeks.

I am relieved. Happy. Wonderfully, excitedly happy. It is over. OVER! We don’t have to respond to another email, phone call, bullshit request for anything. Nothing. Done. Bye.

I wondered aloud to Jonquil that what would happen to us now? What happens if the only thing holding us together was my stubbornness and inability to let her win and break us up. He said “Do you really think that is the only thing holding us together?” I said “Well that . . . and you make me dinner.” :)

Yesterday I found out that Narcissus and the Unfortunate Sucker are $40,000 in debt, not including the mortgage and the car. Forty Thousand Dollars! Holy spit.

In August 2011, Narcissus’ bankruptcy was discharged and she was debt free.

Then they got married, and Unfortunate Sucker had a $20,000 savings bond that Narcissus has now spent.

In spring 2012, they refinanced the house so they could pay off debt.

In late summer, early fall 2013, Unfortunate Sucker’s parents paid off all their credit cards.

Now, in early spring they are $40K in debt and drowning.

The hope is that they will sell the house and be able to pay off all their debt and then rent for a while. But they will never be able to save up another down payment the way Narcissus spends money.

Happy Bankruptcy #2 Narcissus, you have earned it.

I almost forgot . . . more bad news befell Narcissus on the holy day that is her birthday. Facebook says:

I want to thank everyone for the birthday wishes on my wall. I wish I could say I had a good day but that would be lying. I spent over 7 hrs looking at 8 to 9 rentals in which to live when our house sells. I had my tenants/room mates move out on me without paying the rest of the rent for the month & short on bills… I didn’t have either of my children acknowledge my birthday at all.. And my ex husband re served court papers on me tonight .. Threatening action tomorrow.. The anniversary of my mothers death.. I’m going to go drink a bottle of wine & soak in my hot tub. I hope it gets better from there. Cheers!

Apparently not acknowledging her birthday does not include the telephone call she got from Marigold.


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.